Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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