Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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