A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Laugh

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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aa

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Miscarriages.

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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