How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This sentence is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops