What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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rocky is here again.......................

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops