Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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