why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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