Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

test

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

Dumbledore dies.

If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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