What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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