if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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