A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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