This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

haha black people :D

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops