What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops