Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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João Duarte reads this.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops