While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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Womens rights.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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