Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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69

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops