why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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