How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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