Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so the weather's nice...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops