After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops