A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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whats the capital of congo famine

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Buzi vagy!

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops