A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Women's rights

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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