A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

PIED NINNY!

world peace

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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