Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Knock knock *open*

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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