"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

kaite is dumb that is true

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops