I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

Invisible Children Foundation.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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