Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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