roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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