What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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The american education system.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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4 hours later.

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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