what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops