What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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