What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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women's rights

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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bangers and mash?

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Thats what she said

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops