Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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smell the vitamin C

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops