What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did jim all I over? He dies

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

42

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops