(Insert joke here)

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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