Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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