I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Knock knock

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops