What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops