What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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that wall over there ->

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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hi anti joke

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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dassa

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Lindsay Lohan

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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