Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops