What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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25.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops