What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops