How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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Justin Bieber

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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