Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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