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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" pewpew

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

Why did? Yes

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

Ain't idn't a word.