roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

i have a christmas tree.

What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

Faithful men.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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