What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you were a cactus, why?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You bumder!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops