Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Pianos.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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