Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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