Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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