what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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punchline below punchline above

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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poop

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Misner is a twat.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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